Directed by Philip Kaufman
Running Time: 1:38
as Jessica Shepard
Samuel L. Jackson
Ashley Judd makes some really crappy movies, and on her list of crappy movies, Twisted jumps right into the number two spot.
Let's see... Jessica Shepard, new homicide inspector, all her sexual conquests are dying, she's a big drinker, her father was a serial killer... is she killing these guys or is she being set up? And if she is being set up, by whom? Her new partner? An old boyfriend? Someone else?
After 20 minutes I seriously considered leaving the theater. But, I was with a friend so I didn't feel like waiting another hour+ before he got out. I mean, this movie was sheer torture from the start. Stupid dialogue, ridiculous directing, horrible acting. I mean, this was the triple play of bad. How movies like this get made are beyond me. People were laughing at the end, not because it was a comedy, but because things kept happening for no apparent reason. And then when the killer is revealed, no real explanation is given! It's like the screenwriter started thinking, OK, this movie has gone on long enough, let's give the audience an answer without any reasons! They're stupid, they'll eat it up!
Some of the dialogue was the cheesiest stuff I've heard in ages. The acting was equally bad, and that's saying something considering actors normally known for being good were in this, namely Samuel L. Jackson and Andy Garcia. I don't think anyone has ever confused Ashley Judd for a good actress. A pretty face yes, but a good actress, not really. She kept doing stuff that was never explained. Her relationships with people were thrown into the mix without any background or reason. It was just accepted as fact. And the bottom line with her was, I didn't give a rats ass if she lived or died. I was kind of hoping she'd end up in prison just for something to happen. I didn't like any of the characters. They were all stupid and pointless, just like the movie.
I'm really struggling to find something to write about. Immediately after seeing this movie, I went and saw The Passion of the Christ. I mean, talk about the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to movies. Oh yeah, you're probably wondering what Ashley Judd movie I hated more than this one. It was Eye of the Beholder. To this day I don't think I can tell you what the point of that movie was. At least Twisted attempts to put together a story. The other Judd film I really hated, and one that did well at the box office which only pisses me off more, is Double Jeopardy. The whole legal basis of that movie is just wrong, and it gets to me every time I think about it. The movie itself was decently made, but the plot was wrong. Twisted just looked bad. Some of the shots were horrible to look at, there was this thing with otters I didn't get... Hell I don't know. It just sucked.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Yeah so overall, Twisted was a mess. Don't bother to see this. Don't bother to rent it. If it's on free TV, change the channel. The only reason it's not an F is because of the unintentionally funny moments that popped up a couple of times, especially the last 5-10 minutes. But for all that is good in this world, please pass on this film.
Kiss The Girls
Eye of the Beholder
© 2004 Wolfpack Productions