D-
Directed by Darren Stein
Running Time: 1:25

When I left the theater after seeing Jawbreaker the first word that came to my mind was insipid. Now, I wasn't sure exactly what insipid meant, but for some reason I thought it fit. So, I came home and looked it up. And now, here is the Webster's New World College Dictionary definition of insipid: "Insipid - adj. - 1. Without flavor, tasteless. 2. Not exciting or interesting; dull; lifeless. Insipid implies a lack of taste or flavor and is, hence, figuratively applied to anything that is lifeless, dull, etc." I think I may have found a new favorite word. Insipid describes exactly how I felt about this good for nothing movie.

Rose McGowan, Julie Benz, and Rebecca Gayheart play three popular girls in high school. As a birthday prank, they kidnap their other best friend so they can humiliate her in front of the whole school. In doing so, they stuff a very large jawbreaker in her mouth to keep her quiet. She accidently swallows it and dies. When a quiet non-popular girl (Judy Evans Greer) finds out, the popular girls tell her that to buy her silence, they will make her popular. Well one thing leads to another, blah blah blah good triumphs over evil and everyone has a la-di-dah time.

Now let me ask you something. I may have gone to a normal high school, but I certainly don't remember hearing about friends kidnapping other friends, gagging them, stuffing them into trunks of cars, and then wanting to humiliate them in front of the school. It just doesn't seem like something friends do to each other for a birthday. Maybe get them drunk. Maybe take them out to dinner. Maybe rent a stripper. But kidnapping isn't something I normally think of. So the premise of the movie was stupid. And then the rest of the movie fell into place. Honestly the only good thing about this movie was seeing what next tight, revealing clothing the girls were going to wear next. The script was horrible, which meant that the actors sounded extremely stupid when having to speak those words. The direction was bad, the music was ok, but only when Rock You Like a Hurricane came on. Oh yeah, and I did like seeing Marilyn Manson dressed up as a regular guy (albeit a strange looking one).

So pass on this piece of crap. I'd rather spend an hour and a half sucking on a real jawbreaker and staring at the wall than sit through this again.


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